Life has been pretty hectic these last few months… Since I last posted on this site I’ve finished another semester of college, stopped working with The Cougar, started two of my summer classes, been to California, finished one of my summer classes, the two magazines I took photos for released, started a third summer class, and now I’m sitting here drinking lemonade at midnight and reflecting on life in general.

 It’s so weird to think that I’ll be 23 at the end of this year. I don’t feel like I’m in my early twenties and I don’t know if everyone thinks that way when they are my age or if it’s just me. I’m pretty mature as it is and living alone doesn’t faze me, but we recently had a family get together for the fourth of July and it really got me thinking about my life and my future. I’ll be finishing up college next May (hopefully!!) and one of the questions I’ve gotten from family is ‘what will you be doing once you are done?’ In all honesty, I’m not completely sure and that absolutely terrifies me.

I would love to be a fashion photographer with magazines, but as I’ve done research on it, it’s really confusing on how you get your foot in the door and it seems to be pretty difficult. It’s all about who you know and as someone who’s only just about to graduate and isn’t very good at networking with people, it’s pretty daunting. I’m stressed about finding a job, being able to support myself, and hopefully move out of my home state and experience new places. As much as I travel, I haven’t been able to immerse myself in another place the way I would if I had moved there. 

I’ve also been pretty insecure and stressed out about my blog and starting up making videos again. Because I’m getting my degree in Digital Media and emphasizing in video production, I wanted to create videos in my free time and broaden my spectrum of video work. I think the main thing for me is that I was trying so hard to create a blog or videos like the ones I’ve seen and I haven’t completely found what I want this blog or what I want my videos to be. I tried to be a beauty blogger, but as much as I love makeup, I’m not a makeup artist and I don’t exactly know what I’m doing. I think I need to take a step back and not worry as much about what content I’m producing and just create the things that I want. I’ll probably create an entire separate blog post on this subject as I have a lot of thoughts on that topic.

This honestly is just a huge mess of a blog post, but I finally felt like writing and wanted to get this out. I’m not going to force myself to a schedule to post on here, as my main focus is getting finished with school, but I’m hoping to post at least once a week. It may even be twice one week and nothing the next. We’ll just have to see what happens. 

If you’ve actually read all of this, I thank you. My mind is a complete mess sometimes and I think it really shows in this post. Lol. Let me know in the comments what you’ve been up to these last few months. I’d love to start a conversation with y’all. 🙂

Be kind, always; B.

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